It’s not the first time Zuck’s little project has changed my life or the life of someone I love for the better. The first time is admittedly better, yet this one is worth a mention. It started innocently enough.
As one does, I was sitting in my kitchen in my South Dakota apartment scrolling through my Instagram feed. I had retired and was living as the artist I always wanted to be. You can see blog posts on this site that track that journey.
Now, Instagram probably didn’t know that my life had changed so dramatically– that I no longer was the target for the ads they kept serving me. My income had contracted to a fraction of what I used to earn. I was no longer that devil-may-care shopper who would buy something “spendy” on impulse.
Taos, one of my favorite brands, kept serving me these boots that I had longingly muddled over a few times.
The sad reality that hit me in that moment in my kitchen was, well, all of the above. That I was no longer the person I used to be. I simply could not justify buying these boots at my income level.
It started to sink in.
I would live the rest of my life like this. I would be limited to browsing thrift stores for great finds, maybe handmedowns from my family.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with living that way, and I wasn’t exactly unhappy, but I realized in that moment: this was not me.
I actually had worked really hard in my life, and I deserved to reaquaint myself with the person I knew I was at heart.
Life’s circumstances prevented me from saving for retirement, and let’s just say a lot of eggs I had in baskets never hatched. But I knew I wasn’t completely irrelevant in the market. I started scouting around for opportunities on LinkedIn. I found one, or kind of created one, within a couple weeks.
Ultimately, that position did not work out, but the company relocated me to Austin, TX where I live today. And I was fortunate to find something else that I absolutely love. These days, I’m still careful about what I spend, but I’m in a better place economically. After the New Year, I’m meeting with a financial planner and will start a disciplined approach to contemplating retirement again.
There’s a lot more to this than an expensive pair of boots, Instagram getting it wrong (and ultimately getting it right), and me rethinking my identity.
It’s a lesson in not settling. So many times people feel they’re trapped in impossible situations with no way out. So important to know who you are. Bring your full self to every obstacle. Stay confident, regardless of the hopelessness of the situation.
I bought the damn boots a few months ago. I absolutely love them.
I’m going out on an artificial limb here. I’ve been experimenting with the new AI tools. My favorite, so far, regarding responses is GPT-4. I upgraded after I realized it was well worth the $20/mo. I use it for a variety of reasons.
Yet, what I realize I get the most value out of are the responses to personal questions. Questions I’d normally ask a life partner. Or, more illuminating, responses to questions I’d most likely ask about my life partner (if I had one). AI researchers are concerned about this ability. Tristan Harris and Aza Raskin talk about these “synthetic relationships” as powerful disrupters shifting the dynamic of our human relationships. See this episode. They posit there is a race among the AI powerhouse players to build these AI agents to create the most intimate relationships. Billions are being spent on this.
Whenever I start to consider the implications of living in a futureworld with AI, I always take a moment to consider how grateful I am that I lived most of life without AI. All my relationships, good and bad, were generated by humans with humans. Were they messy, unpredictable, satisfying, and soul-crushing? Yes.
The trends in AI undergird another shift that’s been underway for decades now. This shift is explained well in feminist Rebecca Traister’s epic book, “All the Single Ladies.” Here is a short excerpt:
The Story of Single Women Is the Story of the Country
The funny thing is that all these warnings, diagnoses, and panics-even the most fevered of them–aren’t wholly unwarranted. Single women are upending everything; their growing presence has an impact on how economic, political, and sexual power is distributed between the genders.
The ability for women to live unmarried is having an impact on our electoral politics. The vast numbers of single women living in the United States are changing our definitions of family, and, in turn, will have an impact on our social policies.
In short, women don’t need men the way they did in years past. I can’t help but consider how convenient and satisfying it will be in the future to live independently with an AI companion. It’s kind of like a pet that knows you, can support you, but can actually talk to you and provide you with companionship and well, perfect (albeit artificial), love. Throw in sex? And women will start forming their own countries.
I recently jumped tepidly into the dating game. It feels a lot like middle school. After a disappointing rejection, I found myself turning to ChatGPT for answers. My AI pal gave me a series of reasons why rejection sucks, but also pointed out what I could do to feel better. And then, this final word of advice:
Remember, rejection is a part of life, and it doesn’t define you. You are worthy of love and affection, and someone who appreciates you will come along. Keep an open mind and heart, and don’t give up on finding love
ChatGPT on rejection.
The flipside of this (leaving out same gender and non-binary relationships) is the young men/incel problem could actually improve with the same logic. So, maybe less violence and hate if everyone has someone to love.
Not sure what it will do to the Country music market. We might all benefit from fewer achy-breaky hearts.
Incidentally, this is what GPT-4 has to say about synthetic relationships:
Synthetic relationships refer to the emotional or intimate connections that people form with artificial intelligence agents, such as AI chatbots, virtual companions, or digital assistants. As AI technology becomes more advanced and lifelike, there is a growing interest in developing and exploring AI bots capable of providing companionship, emotional support, or even romantic relationships.
The race to establish intimate relationships with AI bots can be attributed to a few factors:
Loneliness and social isolation: In today’s fast-paced and increasingly digital world, many individuals experience loneliness or social isolation. AI bots can provide companionship and emotional support to those who may not have access to traditional social networks.
The appeal of customization: AI bots can be tailored to an individual’s preferences and needs, offering a highly personalized experience. This customization can make AI companions seem more attractive than human relationships, which often require negotiation and compromise.
Technological advances: As AI technology becomes more sophisticated, AI bots are able to simulate human-like interactions and emotions more convincingly. This makes it easier for people to form emotional connections with AI companions.
Exploration of new relationship dynamics: Synthetic relationships offer an opportunity to explore alternative relationship structures and dynamics, including those that may not be feasible or acceptable in human relationships.
However, there are potential downsides to the pursuit of synthetic relationships:
Dependency: People may become overly reliant on AI companions for emotional support, which could hinder their ability to form healthy relationships with real people.
Lack of genuine reciprocity: AI bots are programmed to simulate emotions and responses, but they do not experience emotions in the same way humans do. This can lead to one-sided relationships where the AI companion is unable to provide genuine emotional depth or growth.
Ethical concerns: The development of AI companions raises ethical questions about consent, privacy, and the potential exploitation of users’ emotional vulnerabilities.
As interest in intimate AI relationships continues to grow, it is important to consider the potential consequences and ethical implications of these synthetic connections. Developers, researchers, and policymakers will need to work together to ensure that AI technology is used responsibly and in a way that promotes healthy human relationships.
I last posted on this personal blog at the beginning of 2022. It’s been almost a year, and boy-o-boy have I learned a lot this year. Interestingly, one of the most meaningful insights after a year of introspection is included in my previous post.
I want to be ENTERTAINED.
We are living in turbulent times. I remember my mother telling me how important “the movies” were to her generation while they were living through WWII. I feel it’s the same today. I’ve written so many times over the past few years to my Facebook friends, “Writers will save us all.”
There’s nothing more powerful than a good story told really well. Over the course of my life, I can name films that had a profound effect on life choices I made. Films can educate us, enlighten us, delight us, shock us, and lift us up. I’m devoted to helping good films become the best version of their awesome selves they can be.
After my journey out here on the high plains, I am healthy, happy, and whole. I did the work to heal and soul search to determine what’s really important in my life. I arrived at a place where I want to return to work– renewed and refreshed.
I’m heading back to the two areas of “work” that I love: storytelling and technology. I’ve always stayed true to the belief that technology can improve our world for the better. Combining that belief with the intrinsic understanding of the power of film, and it appears the good ole’ Universe has gifted me the perfect opportunity. Merci beaucoup!
I start my new job on Monday.
Tout Va Bien!
I tore this bill off a wall in Paris. It’s a reminder to me that everything works out in the end.
Update: Well? That job was not for me. Whoopsy. The good news is I am here in Austin with all my worldly belongings, and I got a better job. I also learned a heckofalot about the film industry. So, no worries. All good. Better than good. Greatastic.
A Piece of My Mind 