I last posted on this personal blog at the beginning of 2022. It’s been almost a year, and boy-o-boy have I learned a lot this year. Interestingly, one of the most meaningful insights after a year of introspection is included in my previous post.
I want to be ENTERTAINED.
We are living in turbulent times. I remember my mother telling me how important “the movies” were to her generation while they were living through WWII. I feel it’s the same today. I’ve written so many times over the past few years to my Facebook friends, “Writers will save us all.”
There’s nothing more powerful than a good story told really well. Over the course of my life, I can name films that had a profound effect on life choices I made. Films can educate us, enlighten us, delight us, shock us, and lift us up. I’m devoted to helping good films become the best version of their awesome selves they can be.
After my journey out here on the high plains, I am healthy, happy, and whole. I did the work to heal and soul search to determine what’s really important in my life. I arrived at a place where I want to return to work– renewed and refreshed.
I’m heading back to the two areas of “work” that I love: storytelling and technology. I’ve always stayed true to the belief that technology can improve our world for the better. Combining that belief with the intrinsic understanding of the power of film, and it appears the good ole’ Universe has gifted me the perfect opportunity. Merci beaucoup!
I start my new job on Monday.
Tout Va Bien!
I tore this bill off a wall in Paris. It’s a reminder to me that everything works out in the end.
It’s the day after Christmas. I was going through my old photos of Europe. I found this old unretouched one. It not only brought back a fond memory; it reminded me of why I took the photo in the first place. I wanted to preserve the moment to inform my future self.
This photo was taken on the lawn in back of the Eiffel Tower. You can see my teenage son napping on the lawn in a fetal position in the background.
It was the spring of 2012. I was living in Austin at the time with my son who was a Sophomore in high school. My daughter was studying in Paris enrolled in NYU’s prestigious semester abroad program. Every spring, the second week of March turned the city of Austin into a carnival. One of the country’s best festivals took place downtown: SXSW. Pre-pandemic, SXSW brought hundreds of thousands of festival goers to the Texas Capital. But, if you were an Austin resident, it was chaos and the traffic was more-than-usual insufferable.
I knew someone, okay a rich guy, who had a flat in Paris that he allowed his friends to use when he was not in town. I figured I had nothing to lose by asking if he would allow me to stay there, so I could have a nice Paris holiday with my kids, and avoid the SXSW madness. To my surprise, he did.
I remember exactly when I took this photo. My son was predictably acting like a moody teenager and expressing his indifference to our Parisian excursion. My daughter was happy to see us, and loved staying in the million dollar flat off of the Champs-Élysées. For about a week, we could pretend we lived a different life.
But the fact that we were all together in Paris, my son was well on his way to his own college journey, and my daughter was going to graduate with honors from NYU was a remarkable achievement.
I took this selfie to remind me… IT GETS BETTER.
I had come so far in my life, and I wanted to remind myself that even in times where it looks like there is no hope and no way out, you never know what the future holds. In nearly every circumstance when I’ve hit a low, the successive highs have been demonstrably better.
Life is a long game. Hold out for the upside. Even if you only see it sometimes in the rear-view mirror.
I admit, at first, it began as a vanity project. I was high off the success of my two prior Internet-based startups and felt invincible. I had a lot of friends. I felt empowered that I could do this. I brought a whole lot of arrogance and conceit to the fight.
Then, nearly as soon as I began, I got knocked off my my pedestal. I had to learn how to really work… how to really do research, how to make a real relationship, how to inspire someone to work for me for free with no guarantee of any return at all. I had to learn how to persuade people very different from me that I could be trusted and that I was sincere. I had to learn how to accept rejection, in the face of all logical evidence to the contrary that what I was selling was highly effective and worthy of investment.
I was told, “YOU HAVE NO STANDING” to have conversations in this field. In other words, GO AWAY.
Nevertheless, I persisted. But maybe, (h/t Stevie Wonder), like I fool I went and stayed too long–– I actually made progress against my goals. I believe what I’ve set in motion will pay substantial dividends in the future. I’ve said it hundreds of times: The Answers are in the Data. The problem in domestic violence is the offender, and we can identify, track, predict, and control their behavior with proper data analysis and monitoring. I’ve even filed a provisional patent for a software tool that will save lives if implemented properly.
Yet, after three years, I’m quitting. Maybe quitting while I’m ahead, but quitting nonetheless. The reason is personal, not business. You see working on domestic violence brings me to the front lines of my own personal horror show every damned day. I simply cannot continue to work on this for health reasons. Let’s call it a graceful exit.
I will leave behind the seeds of an important beginning conversation about the vast potential of data, and the powerful transformational story told by High Point, NC in our film. We should have a final cut soon. I wholly underestimated the toll this work would take on my mental health. At my peril.
Over time, I’m contemplating writing a short ebook about my experiences working in this field featuring what I learned–– the challenges and opportunities as I see it–– but there I go being thought-leadery again. I may also consider doing some public speaking aligned to the film, but we’ll see.
For now, I’m going back to tech consulting, and continuing with my R&R time in the comfort of the Florida winter chillzone.
Namaste. And a sincere thanks to everyone who helped Big Mountain Data and our ambitious goals.
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Update 4/15/18:I was asked to speak at a National conference in the fall and looks like the software tool is moving forward in the hands of some industry experts who can take it to the next level. So, not exactly gone for good. Plus, I have a meeting tomorrow with a local data scientist who’s interested in our work. There is that UPenn machine learning case study I’ve been interested to replicate on the assessed risk of DV bond hearings…
Update 3/16/19:I still speak about this from time to time. I will be speaking Monday evening to an ACM-W group of students at the local university. And I did get to speak at the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence national conference in the Fall, and show our film.
L – R: Me, Chief Shultz, Shay Harger, and AUSA Jennifer Wells. Special thanks to Bea Hanson, former Principal Deputy Director, OVW who took our photos with my phone.
A Piece of My Mind 